[NOTE - something's fucked up .. this is Enis Appledarsh's post]
Well, I've done little to no work today. but that's nothing new. neither is the urge to get up, walk to my boss office's and quit. i, however am a coward. i'm a little bitch. if you thought Samir, Michael and Peter had shitty jobs, i dare you to spend a day at "The Dungeon" (Milliard Barber & Co., Inc.) and see if you can last 9 hours without getting the urge to pull a Michael Douglas n Falling Down. I hate my job. but that's okay because a lot of people hate their jobs, right?? yeah, but mine REALLY blows. i deal with d -bag customers who think they are the proverbial shit. All egomaniac dick bags it’s truly a pleasure to work with such douchey-ness.
i often wonder if I'd be happier living my life inside a minimum security prison. as far as i know, i wouldn't have to pay rent, i'd get free food, I'd get required outside play time and i think I'd get free cable too. i wonder if i could bring my Sleep Machine. Anywho...now granted I'm not being totally serious (notice how i said "totally") but it is fun to think about. the only thing preventing me from a committing an armed robbery (in order to get placed into a minimum security prison) is Glen Danger Esq. and his constant lottery playing. He assured me he'd give me some of the money if he ever wins (I'm thinking 3-4 million). He even got 2 numbers right in a lotto once, which is a VERY good sign that he'll win the whole thing sooner rather than later. I'm pretty sure I'd hang myself in prison with my bed sheet if Glen Danger actually won the lottery while i was away. That's just a chance i can't afford to take. So, I'll go on living and working in my shitty little life hoping Glen Danger Esq. wins the god damned lottery. It's the only thing that gets me up in the morning...
Now, what would i do if Danger won the lottery??? first thing I'd do is quit my job. i wouldn't even show up or tell anyone. I'd just never go back or speak of that place ever again. I'd then go on a serious 3 day drug fueled rampage getting as drunk as humanly possibly without dying. I’d probably try heroin too. It’s one of those things that everyone should try once. After sobering up, I'd call my parents and tell them of the good news. I'd then probably look to buy a sweet little pad in the east village area. why the fuck not? i could certainly afford it now. And certainly, I'd give my parents and siblings a little sumthin' sumthin. you know, for the effort. I'd then try as hard as possible to live out the rest of my days emulating The Dude.
A guy can dream can't he?
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